The right balance is imperative

There’s an inherent selfishness in living. We teach our children to not be self-centered in very specific ways but in every part, we are animals with a will to live – so water, food, shelter and health all fall into a realm where we look to ourselves first. Those that overcome this – who run into fires, who nurse the sick, who step in front of danger, do so in knowing sacrifice of that, frequently for very personal and complex reasons.

In this wealthy, consumer-based country, there is deep scripting for further personal fulfillment. We’ve been taught we need our hair cut every couple of weeks, nails done, drinks with friends, dinner out, gym membership, beach time and on and on. We don’t wear masks because they aren’t comfortable, or in some cases, because we feel we’re exercising our rights.

This is also natural. Animals feast when food is available. We’re opportunists. And instant gratification addicts. I don’t exempt anyone from this. And we are privileged to think that the safety of others is a choice we get to make.

 
But this disease we’re dealing with is insidious. It’s more opportunistic that we are. It counts on our inability to distance, to curb our desires – it waits for situations where we are forced to be near each other and spreads this way. Conservative politicians push to not restrict and to keep consumers openingly consuming citing the economy, inviting people into more of these circumstances.

And so, we decide we cannot live without the hair cut or coffee. Or dinner out. Or drinks with friends. And a large number of us contract the disease. We then bring it home to our families and give it to coworkers, to the first responders and front-line workers.

And people, real people, die or go broke surviving – or both. Husbands and wifes die leaving spouse and family to rip out the carpeting, throw away furniture and sanitize the house to prevent additional exposure.
We justify this with “it’s all in gods’ plan” or “when it’s your time, it’s your time”. 

But doesn’t god give us tools to fight and frequently defeat these things? Unless you believe in total destiny and the absence of free will (and in that case for those that follow a biblical faith, I’m not sure how you interpret the creation myth – after all, wasn’t understanding and choice the reason Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden? At that point we were left to our own decision making, our free will?).
Only you can decide where the right balance lies. Me – I shop every couple of weeks. We supplant with some online ordering. An occasional meal delivery (once or twice a month). I go down the street to the mailbox every couple of days. Did a home project and replaced a sink and ended up at Home Depot 3 times based on a relaxed view of the risk at the time.

Each time I do, I’m increasing my chance for exposure – sometimes minimally. Sometime palpably (shopping for groceries is a particularly tense and frustrating business, with people ducking in while you open a freezer door – “just let me grab…” or not distancing or refusing to wear a mask.
And each time I do I’m increasing exposure for my wife. For others I may inadvertently come in contact with. Invariably good people. My neighbors – each with different risk profiles. One took pains to pick daisies and deliver them to our door. He was careful when he handed them to us, but no mask for either of us, forgetful in the moment (please don’t judge me on this singular indiscretion – I certainly understand I’m imperfect). Or my interaction with a next-door neighbor for a community purpose, where she handed me something – we were wearing masks and were careful, washed hands after, but still, interaction and physical transfer.

I see friends and neighbors online and see them ache for human interaction. I do to some extent too – I’m lucky enough to have my life partner with me – and I have loving pets. But I see the wish to do what comes naturally and all I can say is;

Balance folks. In this case, it’s light, necessary interactions – things that are survival items. Things that can be done with frugal exposure and much caution. Wearing masks as a life saving measure for those we come in contact with. We can do this with consideration.

141,000 deaths in USA up to today. 600,000+ worldwide. Each of these were people that laughed and loved. Many of them could still be doing that if either they or someone they knew could’ve shown some restraint and caution.

And that’s what is needed to beat this – thoughtful, compassionate action and some temporary sacrifice. Thanks, if you are doing this and thanks to those who start. 

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In other news, we see our president sending unmarked military to Portland, to put down those exercising their right to protest (yes, there’s violence in some cases – but the violent response begets violence and some peaceful demonstration is being broken with violence, like it was 60 years ago during the civil rights marches in the 1960s). That brings us top the death of John Lewis who knew the struggle and fought every day of his life. He will be sorely missed as we work to defeat racism and totalitarianism. Trump and Devos are working hard to force “full” public school openings, because, if schools refuse or come short with only partial week attendance in person, they can then site non-opening as a reason to redirect public funds to private schools. The defunding of public education should be a huge story – but it’s buried behind the dumpster fire that is this administration.

The only way to right this ship is to vote the current administration and Senate out. Each day it becomes more imperative. Please, please, make sure you are registered to vote. Make your vote count.

Everyone Struggles - that's not the point

Let's start out the day with this;

Everyone struggles. With lots of stuff. It is the condition of life.

And everyone has a unique set of conditions (although many will be similar), and privilege is part of what makes that up.

I struggled a good bit early in my adult life, to make ends meet and at times, it's still a struggle. But based in the life I live. I can point to times when I dug ditches for a living, did factory work, cleaned floors and bathrooms.

Others who might know me longer or better might have other views; "Your Dad was a dentist, your grandfather a doctor, your Mom a Computer whiz. Surely you lived a privileged life" and I would say it's absolutely true. I have. I've also known what it's like to have less than $5 mid-month and not know how I was going to feed my young child, except that I knew family would help, even if they had reduced means. My family couldn't pass on wealth on any large scale but helped me immeasurably when I was down - I was supported. That's privilege.

Because of who I am and how I was raised people assumed I attended college (and did, in my late 30's and again in my late 40's - and my employer helped me). That's privilege.

Some of you can say your parents paid for your college. Your wedding or even your house. Some families can pass on wealth and others cannot. All these things are in this combination of struggle and privilege we work with. And it's not equal or fair. Those are cards are largely dealt by decisions my family or I made.

I humbly submit that I have had struggle (like everyone) and have managed to frequently overcome it, but I won't bore you with further details, except to say;

I've never had to fight systemic racism. I never fought sexual discrimination. If people have judged me for my sexual preferences, I cannot say it impacted me in a life changing way. My gender can be an advantage or disadvantage, but from what I can understand nobody has paid me less for being a white male. I haven't had someone say to me I'm too old to work or invest in. Nobody's refused to serve me and I've not feared for my life when stopped by the police.

I've felt envy from those who see my privilege, and I've had people think that I'm not credible because of it - that is unfair and discriminatory, but it's part of the privilege too - life is definitely not equally fair to everyone. And look, I cannot help what I was born with, but I can help what I perpetuate.

Minorities in this country suffer just for being minorities and die at a much higher percentage due to violence and poverty. The LGBTQ+ community suffers for being queer or trans. Women in this country suffer just for being women. People are pushed out of meaningful work because they are seen as too old. This is discrimination we can do something about.

Yes. Everyone struggles. But that struggle doesn't need to contain systemic discrimination and violence. And how we fight it is to educate, to vote, to advocate for equality and help create situations where equality can thrive. Part of that is acknowledging privilege and discrimination and stopping the perpetuation of it by friends and family (and strangers when possible). Part of it is then trying to do something about it.

Stop posting memes of All Lives Matter. Yes - we know.

Stop saying that discrimination will continue as long as we keep talking about it - that we're making the divide worse by bringing it up. That's not how this works. Talking about it is only the first step in dealing with it and we cannot even get everyone to acknowledge that.

Stop saying there's good and bad "on both sides" when one side is anti-racism and the other side is racist. There are not "good racists". I do believe in converted racists - it's a learned behavior and people can learn and correct, but if you're still saying and doing racist things, you're not a "good person otherwise". A racist that is good to puppies is still a racist. Same goes for sexual preference, religion, ageism, gender discriminators - if you discriminate in any of these ways, you are treating others badly.

And some of this is a long path. If your religion brought you up to believe that homosexuality is fundamentally wrong it's hard to get rid of that scripting. If your culture teaches you to devalue the elderly, it's hard to get rid of that scripting. If your father dominated your mother and you were raised to believe that is the way men behave, it is hard to get rid of that scripting. But we have to,

Like former alcoholics, this is also part of our struggle - to be better people. And while trying isn't the same as achieving, it's a start and overwhelmingly better than complacency or denial of the issues. We're not perfect, we're always a work in process. But please, be a work in process if you're not there yet. I am. Don't contribute to the problem and please, please work to step across that border.

July 4th, 2020

On July 4th, we celebrate the birth of our nation, the United States of America. Our country was born of noble ideal, by good thinkers - but certainly not perfect. They knew this so they designed our basic tenants to be able to be expanded and changed.

We’ve always been a nation of change, our principles designed to support diversity and equality. Patriotism is to honor and adapt - by doing that, what we are preserving and furthering is our ideals. I love that about this country and I am proud to be an American because of this.

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I didn't want to make this post political, but on this day where we celebrate our country, I cannot sit back as it's attacked. If you're looking for the summary of my patriotic statement and nothing else, you have it and I wish you and yours a safe, happy and thoughtful holiday!

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Our Challenge

Because we are a nation of change - by our very charter. We invite the diverse by being a free society, by maintaining a large economy, by stepping up to lead in areas that benefit the world.

Our promise, is that we profess to treat all persons equally. Our challenge is that we haven't reached that. Our struggle is between those who do work for continued change and those who want to preserve or even increase, discrimination (Race, religion, class mobility, sexual preference, gender choice, ageism - and more).

We're living in times where those tenants are being challenged and are in jeopardy of being retired, by the very people that are supposed to protect and defend them, in the name of protecting "American Heritage".

This is a frequent tact of those who would subvert true free society. Wrap yourself in the flag and claim that your opponents are trying to destroy what you have and replace it with something horrific.

I'm going to call this Contrary Redirection - The act of saying something is true about yourself when it isn't, but is true of your rival - or saying something that is false about your rival that is true about yourself, frequently used in political circles as a way to fool the public. A form of Doublespeak.

Our President uses this at almost every opportunity. At Mount Rushmore, shrouded in the flag, Blue Angels flying overhead, he said;

"Make no mistake. This left-wing cultural revolution is designed to overthrow the American Revolution. In so doing they would destroy the very civilization that rescued billions from poverty, disease, violence, and hunger, and that lifted humanity to new heights of achievement, discovery, and progress. To make this possible, they are determined to tear down every statue, symbol, and memory of our national heritage."

He couldn't be more wrong. He's arguing against change that would allow more Americans to live reasonable lives, reduce poverty and further technology. What he is arguing for is the preservation of old money, of existing and historical discrimination, the preservation of parts of our system intended to silence the poor and the different, to punish them, to keep them down. He's arguing against the principles of our great nation, but claiming to do it to preserve the nation. Donald Trump doesn't care about the country. He doesn't care about anything besides Donald Trump and he is using propaganda and doublespeak, as he always has, to further his political goals.

He argues against the removal of statues, and yet, when it comes to things that matter - that is, caring for the health of our people - food, shelter, medical care - he has destroyed more than any other president. He has dismantled a government we funded and built to do this. He's made way for big oil, big pharma, big insurance, big banking - and he's left the citizenry and the small businessman high and dry.

He's used propaganda to dismiss the current health crisis. He's used it to dismiss and even further racism and anti-LGBTQ+ initiatives. With the flag around his shoulders and a bible in his hand, he proclaims to protect the second amendment and religion, then works to stifle the very freedoms that the constitution is aimed at protecting (why does the second amendment exist? Not for the purpose of further gun ownership, but for the purpose of protecting equality, which at the time, required guns - to keep the King from taxing without representation through force - removing equality).

We don't need winners and losers. We need to help each other get where we're going. That is the American way. We put ourselves out there to help each other and the rest of the world we strive to raise the bar. We do the hard work. If you want to preserve something of this country forget about statues. Preserve our ideals.

I urge you to look around, at the others in our nation and ask yourself, if you could honestly stand in their shoes - especially the shoes of those that are downtrodden - and still work to support a man and a party that wants to keep them down.

And then vote in November. Vote. Vote like the fate of our nation rests on it, because, it does. We cannot go gently into this night... we need to continue to fight.