Nice guys don't finish last.

There are lots of personal philosophies to pick, but I'd like to address two major themes today. The first is the "Nice guys finish last" philosophy.

Yesterday, I read a posted article in which argued that the reason for keeping Trump was this (and I paraphrase) - the majority are just going to end up picking someone like him because you don't want a nice guy in the office, you want someone who can be strong.

First - they couldn't be more wrong - I want a nice person in the office and second, who says nice people can't be strong. It's a popular cliche but one that is false.

"Oh but Toby, you know what they mean, they mean someone who can make the tough decisions."

Yes. Look, I want my president to have a tough time with decisions that affect people's lives. I want that person to wrestle with decisions until they find the best ways. I want that person in charge of my military, and thinking about business, the economy, foriegn relations.

If we break it down, I want the country run thoughtfully. But these folks argue that nice people can't be tough and that's not true. They can stick to their morals. But frequently it's sticking to a different philosophy. Winning together. Getting where you are going by helping others get where they are going. Sharing.

See, in the Trumpian "nice guys finish last" world, each person is only out for themselves and life is a matter of grabing whatever you can, your neighbor be damned. America First relies on greed. You might remember, but at least a lot of our parents taught us to share.

It's not that sharing is not "getting what you want". It's just bringing others along. That's key to being nice. And sharing doesn't mean giving up or losing - it means being willing to see the needs of others.

People that follow the "Nice guys finish last" philosophy make horrible managers. They think management is about telling others what to do. Good managers know the role may include guidance, but a lot of it is about support - helping take obstacles out of your employees way so they can suceed.

That doesn't mean the nice guy doesn't ever get mad. That doesn't mean they don't occassionaly say "go do". But that "go do" needs to be matched with "how can I help you" or at least "holler if you run into trouble".

I don't want "America first" all of the time. We need to recognize our neighbors needs and understand sometimes, you need to put others first. Especially when you have prviledge. That doesn't mean neglecting your own (for instance, we should not have homeless - vets or otherwise). But it means we also give aid to other countries. Not because we are going to get something in monetary exchange, but because we want to help.

Folks - the double win - the art of getting where you are going by helping others get where they are going is harder than yelling, dictating which are short term strategies but long term failings The double win nurtures relationships. It cultivates goodwill. But it also requires restraint. Kindness. Understanding. Intelligence. Compassion. And a true wish for others to suceed too.

There is a reason for the term "Public Servants". Because they are - they are not supposed to be dictators or dicks. They are supposed to be interested in promoting the success of their constituents. All of them. Together.

That is not who is in office now, but that is who we have to put there when we vote this November and in subsequent Novembers. It is who we need to be too. Because this "every man for himself" crap ultimately ends itself. It doesn't sustain. It burns everything behind it down. We weren't meant to live life that way. Art, Music, Sports, Literature, Dance, Theater and all of our livelyhoods are based on sharing with others.

And if you don't think this is the case, please step back and look at the world around you and remember the first people that helped you. Fed you. Clothed and housed you. And then remember each of us has experienced that in some way or some degree to be here. The world started with sharing and that is the only way it continues. Peace and love.