Finding Joy

Here’s the thing; Everyone has the right to find their joy within their own space. The minute you involve others in any way, the rules change and you have to be cognizant of their right to find joy too. There are certainly unintentional ways this happens. In families it can happen because of a sense of obligation, the obliged frequently giving up joy for the obligator – and both parties may not recognize this – and both may play both roles.

It frequently happens from differing expectations. It frequently happens because one or more parties feels entitled. We impinge on each other without intention – and if with intention, we’re doing wrong and need to fix it.

It reminds me of something my Dad used to say; “Only you are responsible for the perfection of your own dream.” My corollaries are, “You’re not an island. Your dream needs to  consider others.” And “It’s better to focus on the Journey as much as the Destination. Destinations are goals, but the Journey is now.”

So – you’ve got to be your own advocate. You need to say what you want. You need to find joy in the moment, the process, as well as the end product. You need to decide when you can live with the compromises and responsibilities that come with relationships with others. You need to understand how you affect others. This isn’t easy, even if you’re a reasonable person. It takes introspection and self awareness. It frequently takes work. There will be limiting factors (societal rules, resources).
But you can find your joy in the process, if you pay attention, if you get where you’re going by helping others get where they’re going.

I urge you to find that path.