Love in 2020

On this New Year’s Eve, the auspicious precipice of 2020, a few thoughts;

We are all the same in our makeup, with variations being a very small fraction of a percent - we share the same genetics, a set of specifications that allow this organic machine, the human body, to function, to some degree similarly to others. And to a large extent, we are also similar to all of the living organisms we coexist with.

We differ in cosmetic ways and in our thoughts, perceptions, opinions – and yet we congregate around ideas like love, friendship, peace, religion, government, war, poverty – some successes and failures – and even war and disease – so within our collective differences, we vary fairly slightly – so that at a distance, one could barely perceive them.

I can go on diatribes about those that would manipulate some portion of mankind to put themselves above others (and do and have) but they are in fact, less pervasive than the norms of love and peace. Evil stands out because of its agonizing reflection against Love and Peace.

I am reminded constantly – every day - Love is the answer. By my wife and family. By my friends and by this wide world. That doesn’t mean we don’t falter or take offence, or get mad. It doesn’t mean that there aren't atrocities or that we don’t play some unintended part in them.

It means that when we pull back, we understand when we’re wrong and that love is both action and being. We further it. It is how we can live, laugh and prosper together.

I wish you and your families love, peace, laughter and prosperity in 2020 and beyond. Pass it on.

Tobias Venar

Finding our way

Nestled down in the heart of our minds, is our home - a virtual place that exists as a center. It's a complex composite of experiences good and bad that surrounds and sets limits -  that is unique and yet frequently common with others. Part of that shared experience is innately human and part of it has to do with the country, culture, economic position and social groups we are in.

It's in that humanity, that commonality that we have to realize - our boundaries and fears, our experiences in the past won't change and cannot. Only how we perceive them and work through them.

So change becomes difficult as we get older, we pile up experiences and group think pervades. We reflect opinions of some of our friends and influences. We get comfortable with our ideas being "right". And that's all good as long as we keep perspective and understand that "right" for us is just that. Our perfection is not someone else's.

Hold that in your hand for a moment and don't let go, while we switch gears.

People can be preyed upon, when change or perceived change takes them far from their home or comfort zone.

For instance, the president says there's an immigration crisis, even though illegal immigration is at it's lowest rate in years. He says these people are murders and rapists, with some, he supposes, good people. This too is a lie, with no basis in fact.

 This isn't an innocent mistake - this is a campaign to inspire fear and get you angry about an issue that takes many, especially the less travelled, far from home and pits them against people advocating for human rights, trying to show them in a poor light, make them look like they want to invite murders and rapists into the country.  "It's the immigrants that are to blame". Easy put. Call out a common enemy, any enemy and you are pulling those more gullible to your side.

It also angers the folks advocating for Human Rights, pulling them away from their comfort zone.  It divides us and in it, gives a gift to those that wish to pull the wool over everyone's eyes.

This is a propaganda technique that used to be used sparingly. But for two years now, each day brings a news cycle that keeps people on both sides of the fence away from their comfort, with enemies to spare, we become more divided so that we can be taken advantage of. Our fears are exploited and our comforts pulled away. But why?

To distract. To pull your attention away from the draining of the public investment in this government. As each little piece is sold off or rented and funneled into tax relief for the wealthy, underwriting and subsidies for business, as public benefits are reduced. As veterans benefits are reduced. As alliances are made with enemies of the world, to support private ambitions. We start getting angry but the next news cycle comes with something else outrageous, pulling our fragile attention from the matter at hand.
This is all intentional. Even when an issue is real, it is spun to be the news cycle flaming, loud, item, which takes our attention away from yesterday's news. There's only so much outrage to go around. We can only expend anger in bursts - we're not made to do marathon anger in general.

So we lose it. It's why we cannot get anything done with Global Warming. It's a slow moving story. Aids - 32 million HIV related deaths since the start of the epidemic. 1.7 million new infections annually (4,657 people a day) and 25 million people in treatment now. And yet both of these should be headlined every day and instead they are sidelined. As are what's happening to class division. And education. Net Neutrality. The removal of support for clean energy sources, subsidies to oil and coal. Safe gun laws and the failure to do anything about the 385 mass shootings* in the USA between New Years 2019 and December 1, 2019.

And in losing this, we quickly lose what our founding fathers, our Grand Parents and Parents, our military have worked and fought for. We lose our identity as a country. We lose our foundation. We lose our long built government infrastructure, we lose public ownership. We lose our natural reserves and resources. We lose opportunity, which is our signature as a country - as the rich eat the rest of us, as our conservative politicians sell us to the rich, to our enemies, we become less.

We cannot afford to lose much more. it will take years to repair division and remake what we had. It will be a long time before we can get home again on a regular basis. But the sooner we get rid of the maleficence in Washington, those that profit from our division, the sooner we can. The sooner we can get back to being the land of opportunity and become the land of equality.

Don't lose the long view. Keep it squarely in mind. So much is at stake.

*https://www.cbsnews.com/news/mass-shootings-2019-more-mass-shootings-than-days-so-far-this-year/

Truths

There is what we believe and there is truth. Real truth. And sometimes they are close and sometimes they are not. Depending on how you use truth - either plainly or twisting the world to create a perceived truth, you change your interaction with the world.

Truths can be simple or complex and can be true all of the time or situationally. Simple: The sky and oceans are blue. Death is a certainty. Moderate: I do some harm to the world by living a disposable lifestyle. Difficult: People act in their own self interest much of the time, intentionally or not, including me.

That last one is difficult because we like to think of ourselves as generous, caring, giving - good. And all of those can be true, but at the very basis of that, is the ability to survive. The difference then, is how I perceive the world - as a fight for limited resource or a place of relative bounty. If I see it as the later, I will tend to share more and I will see others, who share less perhaps as less fortunate. And I will see those that work to deny others that bounty as stepping past the bounds that define a good human being.

It is easy to get caught in a race and think in order to win, others must lose. There are those that profit off this mindset and so the race is presented every day, by some politicians, by private agendas, by those who trade in fear in order to control.

Humanity in reality has not survived by "survival of the fittest" for a long time. That was true before we developed civilization, when we we either ate or were eaten. Civilization developed to help us leverage each other to make survival easier. It's about what we can do together - and we serve ourselves by working with others. We defeated much of evolutions tools to filter us out. It's why near-sighted people survived. Vaccination. Food development. Social nets.

A truth: The very act of being selfless (in whatever way you can) can in turn serve oneself and others at the same time.

Another truth: Taking care of oneself is paramount. Self love is different than self aggrandizing or selfishness. It's necessary to continue. It's taking care of the golden goose.

So, all year, but during this season especially (because it is a time held special by many and a time of vulnerability), remember that we are all different and in that we are all equally deserving of a life, happiness and love. Remember that you can get where your going by helping others get where they are going.

Earth's the right place for love:

I don't know where it's likely to go better.

(from Birches, by Robert Frost)

The fine line between self and me

By our very nature, we are self serving. We are designed to eat when we are hungry, sleep when we are tired and protect our livelihood. We have learned behaviors and anxieties that can subvert that some. We also have learned behaviors that use these instincts to go further than self care, into justifying self serving behavior for gain beyond need - to disguise want for need. We can take these behaviors further to justify actual greed.

And in moderation, it allows some of us to work and live with a safety net and cushion from basic issues like hunger, shelter - and get on with pursuing art, love and well being. In moderation, it hopefully helps one help others get there too.

It's when we act in self interest beyond the boundaries of need, beyond the boundaries of others freedoms. It's the difference between self care and "me first". It's the difference between working hard to get into a school and buying your way in. It's the difference between running a energetic and smart campaign and asking outside interests to get rid of your political opponents.

I'm certainly not perfect. I own a few more guitars than I can justify. I need to modify my life to be more in line with sustainable guidelines on waste and consumption. I've worked hard to benefit others and in turn benefit myself and my family along the way - I have taken opportunities that others might not have gotten. I'm aware of my windfalls and fault, at least to a healthy extent and my family, friends and community help ground me there, remind me of who I need to be.

This president, this "me first" buffoon, this two bit hustler is a cancer. He presents himself as the normal, but is greed and narcissus incarnate. He sets the worst example by doing the worst he can. He doesn't work to get where he is going by helping others - he blackmails to get what he wants. That's not deal making. That's win/lose. And you can't sustain a business with that philosophy - even in a perfect capitalism. And in democracy, a real democracy, you have to push for the common good, not individual greed.

And it's in the common interest that he needs to be removed. And that in the next election cycle, the infection that he has spread be removed and replaced with people interested in representing their constituency and work for the common good - and prevent that which subverts common interest in the form of special interest. That's self care.

Homesick

Let’s go back to a time, if you had one, where you felt safe, where things were simpler, where cookies and milk were a solution to a lot of what ailed you, where you likely didn’t have to focus much on anything besides your small world.

For time this was maybe 5 or 6 years old. 1968/1969 for me was a new house and new instant friends next door and down the street. Dinner on the table, concerned teachers, church every Sunday followed by a drive to your Grandparents, 

playing in the garden and sandbox, then Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, followed by The Wonderful World of Disney and then falling asleep in the car on the way home.

Those of us lucky enough to have this sort of childhood hopefully relate to what I describe even if yours was earlier or later. It was a gift. Our parents made this happen for us. There are many who didn’t have this (a discussion for another time, however). A world we can sometimes be homesick for.

But the real world wasn’t safe in 1968/1969. Womens and Civil Rights struggles. Vietnam, the Tet Offensive. Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy assassinated. Qaudafi takes Libya. Chinese and the Russians clashing. Nixon announces candidacy. Stonewall Riots.

I was too young to understand these things or pay attention to most of them.

And it’s that uncomplicated world that Trump is appealing to when he speaks to his core followers – MAGA. Nobody that age was trying to understand which pronouns best described them. Nobody was questioning God. Nobody was making them think about Global Warming, Aids, Apartheid, School Shootings, World Hunger, recycling, etc… in any meaningful way. Nobody was pushing their limits, making them think. 

They were not understanding the horrors of the age, only some of the brilliance.

You cannot go home – it doesn’t exist except in your mind. And the reason is, you are an adult – you understand more of the world around you – you are conscious and aware and you know that people have all kinds of things to survive in this world. You realize that the person sitting next to you at a bus stop may have been exposed to discrimination all of their life.

You try to understand an imperfectly adapt to the changing world around you. It’s difficult. It’s perilous. And it’s worth it. 

Because only when we recognize that our struggles are our own, but we’re in this all together – where we recognize and help lift each other, in whatever ways we can, that we succeed.

Repression of everything that has changed, that we don’t understand, that doesn’t agree with our world view, that makes us have to be have differently is not the answer. The world moves and changes and we must with it. It’s the only way to real happiness and peace, that doesn’t exclude others.

And there is the rub. You have to care about others that aren’t like you. And that’s why the white nationalism, the racism, the anti LGBTQ+ actions, the propaganda calling civil rights protesting anti-American, the propaganda calling immigrants and Muslims the enemy. It’s framed around presenting a world sterilized of everything that is different and challenging that world view.

And it’s being sold not because Mr. Trump believes it. It’s being sold because the base believes it and will vote for it. It’s being sold because the money that has taken over power will unscrupulously pander to people who prefer not to step out of their protective shell and change.

Our challenge is to help those around us step out. To embrace some discomfort for the good of humanity. To find joy in others success and joy.

It’s hard to get people to walk in others shoes, to forget the homesick feeling they have in their gut and understand that it’s nostalgia for something that doesn’t exist anymore – to leave that behind and see how the world needs to change for everyone to live together, each on their own way.

It’s hard. I’m as guilty as the next person being homesick at times. Wanting to go back to that simpler life. I get there through a song or picture or something else that triggers a memory. And it’s ok to live there for a minute, to revel in the back of the car sleep. But a few minutes later, when I wake up, I put on my big boy pants and catch up with the rest of the world and understand it’s not just about me.

But it is also about me - here, in the world many of us are striving to make, I get to choose what I listen to, how I live my life, who and how I love – as long as it doesn’t step on others rights to do the same.

One way of helping others there is by pulling them to the scene of abuse, helping them walk side by side with the abused then helping them step into those shoes. A good example of this is during the closing argument of “A time to kill”.

The trial of a black man who kills the man who raped his little girl. All white jury, in the south. Jake, the protagonist lawyer, walks the jury agonizingly through the rape and beating of the little black girl. The urination on her, the throwing of her fragile, broken body over the bridge and being left for dead. “Can you see her?”

“Now, imagine she’s white”.

Suddenly the white jurist is transported to standing in the shoes of someone who is horrified and is now seeing the horror from their own shoes – from their own house, if you will. If you cannot get them to care about others, then get them to care about themselves in the same circumstance. That their safe home is not safe for others.

This is how we get some of those that cannot go any other way there. There are those that cannot be shaken even then. But we know the majority of folks want to coexist. Want to revel in the joy of others as well as their own. Who want everyone to be able to live, love and worship with dignity and respect. There is comfort in that, as we face the vocal few who still cannot get there, who are being tweeted to.

Home. That home is a place of mutual respect, not a world sanitized of all that is different. Keep that in mind as you fight the good fight. Keep that in mind as you persevere.

Where we came from, where we are going

As you are enjoying your coffee or latte, eating your breakfast burrito or sandwich, dreading your 40 minute commute to your workplace on Monday, imagine you were desperate enough to change your life that you leave the place you were born on foot.

Imagine walking for months, not knowing how you were going to eat, but knowing ahead there’s a place where you can eat regularly, maybe even have  bed, where the threat to life is only occasional and accidental. Where exploitation is as minimal as it can be.

Then imagine the toil of getting there and having to deal with arbitrary constructs called borders and imaginary obstructions to finding reasonable way of making a life let alone a living, that were lumped in with legitimate law, as you pass through one country to another, until you finally reach your destination and find they put up the biggest artificial constraints of all.

We enjoy our privilege because our grandparents or theirs made this journey themselves – many on boats, but many on foot too. All of them taking their lives in their hands. And unless you are Native American, this is your family story. And we enjoy what we enjoy because they were given the opportunity to join this country.

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In New York for one evening on a training, I rush to Battery Park to catch the last boat to Ellis Island to view my Grandparents names on the wall there (my Aunt went through trouble of getting their passage recognized, as thousands have). All four of my Grandparents came from Europe, over on boats. orphaned by the Russian Revolution, others with their parents, looking for a better life.
As I looked at Yasha and Helen’s names on the wall, I was overwhelmed with gratitude, with the memories of these dear people, who worked so hard, changing their lives and subsequently making mine possible.

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The people making their way here are doing so because they are at best in poverty and need and at worst, in danger. We are the 3rd largest country in the world. We have a population density of 36 people per square kilometer – maybe a little higher (number is 2016). In India it’s 416 per square kilometer. Our fear of scarcity in this, the most lush and vibrant economy in the world, is unfounded. Our prejudices about people of different origin and in some cases different skin color based in scripting from generations of prejudice and propaganda, especially in the propaganda of these political years, where one party has decided that calling these people the enemy will allow them to stay in power.

In a self made crisis, in one of engineered mismanagement and underfunding, they are pointing as these people, who are fundamentally us, as a threat. Clearly, as we look at the past, anytime someone has pointed at an unorganized group of humans as a threat, it’s been a move to further themselves (think of McCarthyism. Think of the interment of Japanese Americans. Think of the Nazi persecution of Jews. And on and on.) We not only have the ability to welcome more, but a moral one. Being born somewhere is hardly good criteria from which to separate humans.

Yes, we need to screen and understand who is coming here and try to ensure they are not bringing hate with them (just as we see, we need to do a better job of this within our borders, for people who were born here). But this crisis is a political stunt, done with malice and hurting thousands, ripping families apart as a grab for control over a fearful part of our populace, by an oligarchy, with the goal of staying in power, to further exploit the populace, through government and business.

We cannot allow this to continue to be our way. We are the land of equality and the land of opportunity – not in perfect practice, but in declaration, in purpose and we need to strive to pull ourselves back on to that path.
We do that by;

• Voting in people who believe in and act on diversity, human rights and secular law
• Influencing government, business and neighbors to understand and work for these goals once again
• Build laws that help prevent this from ever happening again, that value human dignity and account for basic human rights and needs for all of us. 

And if you think this is not what this country is about, then read through our founding documents again. Read the words of our great women and men – and understand. We are not here to stake a claim against the rest of humanity, but side by side with them. There is no us and them. It is just us.

Finding Joy

Here’s the thing; Everyone has the right to find their joy within their own space. The minute you involve others in any way, the rules change and you have to be cognizant of their right to find joy too. There are certainly unintentional ways this happens. In families it can happen because of a sense of obligation, the obliged frequently giving up joy for the obligator – and both parties may not recognize this – and both may play both roles.

It frequently happens from differing expectations. It frequently happens because one or more parties feels entitled. We impinge on each other without intention – and if with intention, we’re doing wrong and need to fix it.

It reminds me of something my Dad used to say; “Only you are responsible for the perfection of your own dream.” My corollaries are, “You’re not an island. Your dream needs to  consider others.” And “It’s better to focus on the Journey as much as the Destination. Destinations are goals, but the Journey is now.”

So – you’ve got to be your own advocate. You need to say what you want. You need to find joy in the moment, the process, as well as the end product. You need to decide when you can live with the compromises and responsibilities that come with relationships with others. You need to understand how you affect others. This isn’t easy, even if you’re a reasonable person. It takes introspection and self awareness. It frequently takes work. There will be limiting factors (societal rules, resources).
But you can find your joy in the process, if you pay attention, if you get where you’re going by helping others get where they’re going.

I urge you to find that path.

Fathers Day

Our parental values being what they are, call for the building of community - one we call family and we work to help and protect that family. Today we celebrate Fathers (and along with Mothers day) and their role.

I'd like to address our paternal sense in terms of the greater community. I trust you love your family and hope you are celebrated for your loving role. We have similar responsibilities to our fellow humans.

As parents, frequently it is necessary to put ourselves first for survival. "Put on your air mask and then assist the person next to you". It is myopic and tragic, when we put ourselves first to a degree that forget or ignore that we live together. So it goes for society too.

But there are those who feel they can put themselves first all the time - that they don't need to contribute to the greater community, making self interest exclusive, they forget that they live with the support of a whole community, not just a family and not just themselves.

And to those who feel they contribute more than others - this isn't about equality in return. It's not an even trade. Those that can pull heavier loads. It's the ability of the strong to stand up for the weak that made this country, that earned us the statue of liberty and the eloquent poem from Emma Lazarus "“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” - that's not a call for personal gain. It's not for the forwarding of our personal agendas.  It's a call for humanity, recognizing our responsibility to help others - to create a world everyone can live in.

Fatherhood (or parenthood in general) was never meant to be a material return. The return comes in the knowledge you helped - you cannot control your child, you can only help aim them in the right direction (to paraphrase a favorite quite from Gibran). So it is with community, with your country. Everyone has to contribute - and it's not equal, but to the best of our ability.

In doing that, we maximize our potential as humans - to love, to give and subsequently let others love and live, without judgement of thier individual values. It is what it means to be a citizen in a democracy.

You contributed positively to the well being of other human lives to the best of your ability. And that's the beauty Parenthood.

Being a father changed my life, especially once I started figuring out how I was truly needed, but it also helped me understand it is a metaphor for growing up and living in this world.

To my child, Jessica Gabriel Tabetha Venar - I love you with all my heart. I'm proud of the human you have become and continue to become.

To my Dad - I love you, miss you and cherish what you taught me, gave to me of yourself.

To Fathers on this day - I recognize your love and efforts - I see it in your children - my fellow human beings and in general, it brings me great hope.

To everyone - we all have the potential to offer each other love and a chance for life and growth. Do it often, without judgement, if you can. 

Stay in your lane Bro'

I'm angry and sad today at the state of our thinking. We are so concerned with legislating the bodies of others, against their will, that we work to stack a court with judges and then push the unthinkable to get the question in front of them, when the will of the people is clearly for choice.

For those that want to impose their religious will, I ask - if God does not agree that abortion is an option, why does it exist?

Faith, you see, is your belief - not god's will. It's not God's faith - it's yours. And faith is based in what you cannot touch - it's your beliefs. It's private. 

To impose your beliefs - your faith on others is to invalidate their belief and violate their space. This is why our founding fathers set up a secular system. Separation of Church and State. Laws were not intended to impose rules on faith. They were intended to apply to our social interaction and action.

A woman seeking an solution to an unwanted pregnancy - for whatever reason - is making a decision for herself. It does not impact you. You have no stake in the game. Even if you are the father, you have no stake in the game. 

Parenthood is a lifelong choice. So is adoption and abortion. But they are choices regardless of being legal or not. Long before adoption laws were formed, people took in others. Long after abortion was illegal, women died or mutilated themselves trying to prevent an unwanted baby.

To go down a path of taking away choices for birth control and abortion literally forces a woman's destiny. And your judgement that people shouldn't have sex if they don't intend parenthood is Orwellian and outdated.

It's fine if you choose to not consider abortion a choice for yourself. It is criminal to try to force that choice on others.

Israel and Restraint

When I hear anything that smacks of racial or religious purity I cringe, because hiding behind the thin layer of masked language are the ideas of exclusion and discrimination, hate and genocide.

And the Jewish people have been recipients of this treatment for hundreds of years. Egyptians, Romans, Crusades, Inquisitions, Nazis - and those are just well known instances - tons of persecution.

And some of us have engendered acceptance and co-existence. But the recent movement in Israel to be a Jewish only state, is a movement of exclusion, discrimination and hate.

“Israel is not a state of all its citizens,” he [Netanyahu] wrote a few weeks before the election. “Israel is the nation state of the Jewish people — and only it.”

 What makes this different than 1930s-40s Germany then? What makes this different than Rwanda, Darfur, Ireland?

This is a mistake. And it's a mistake for US Government to support it. And it's a mistake in the playbook for all Jewish persons - understand that we sit in the role of persecutor now. And that cannot be the case. We of any, should be working for the eradication of hate, not the cultivation of it - even in the face of extremist adversity - should be pushing for peace.

Should israel be strong - yes. But they need to carry that with restraint. Mr. Netanyahu is not. He is figuratively and literally killing innocents along with terrorists. He is persecuting Israeli citizens because of their genetics and beliefs.

How do we achieve restraint?

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/18/opinion/benjamin-netanyahu-israel.html

The element of suprise

I personally think the Democrats are blowing it in regards to the presidential race.

Where's the element of surprise?

1. Trump has two years to evaluate, research and talk down all of his competition

2. If the fight gets ugly within the party, it will cause disenfranchisement and apathy.

3. 20 candidates who eventually need to push their voters to one? Are they relying on the "better than Trump" argument to get people out to the polls (see Apathy above).

4. By the time we do get to a single candidate, pocketbooks will be worn down, not to mention voters. I'm already tired of political ads and we've two years to go.

Behind the scenes, party leadership needs to be pushing to run polite campaigns and figure out a strategy to help things pull together faster. By that I do not mean they need to pick the candidate. I mean they need to negotiate with potentials on ways to understand their chances early and be able to throw support to someone who represents the voters in the party more holistically than others. They also need to eliminate the pretenders and investigate themselves to ensure there are no skeleton issues with the candidates that do move forward.

All this may be going on - but so far, it feels more disorganized than previous disorganized elections. Everyone was in way too early and there are too many of them. I think this is because they think this polarization will buy them the election - simple math - more Dems in the country and a horrible Republican candidate. Again, I think they are miscalculating the potential for voter apathy. Having canvassed voters in the past, there are a contingent who would not be sure they could leave their homes if their downstairs was on fire. Numbers are great, but they have to get to the polls.

Democratic leaders (are there any?) need to get former party leaders to step up and start rallying folks now. They need to help disseminate information about all of the candidates - side by side comparisons on real issues. They need to make sure Dems understand it is their choice and they need to get them to pick early and politely work toward consensus, so that goodwill and money are not spent on the internal haggle, leaving nothing on the table for the real fight.

Otherwise, the other guy, the man who is destroying the country, is going to win without having to do anything else.

Anti-Semitic

anti–Semitic /ˌænˌtaɪsəˈmɪtɪk/ adjective
: feeling or showing hatred of Jewish people

Merriam-Webster Learners Dictionary

Folks - last night, in front of a conservative Jewish audience took a shot at Ilhan Omar, the congresswoman from Minnesota. He indicated she "doesn't like Israel", with the implication through the speech that not liking the actions of the Israeli government or the political policies of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC - a pro-Israeli expansion lobby) is anti-Semitic. He went on to say that Democrats are harboring anti-Semitism within the party.

This is not true - it's blatantly false. Ilhan Omar is not an Anti-Semite, nor are Democrats.

Yes - Israel has legitimate concerns about the safety of their people. But many of us recognize this is done at the expense of the Palestinian people in the region and that you cannot subjugate and kill your way to peace.

People who are against those policies are not anti-Semitic or anti-Israel (which are two completely different things). They are perhaps anti-violence. They are likely anti-poverty and anti-discrimination.

To twist the racist term of anti-Semitism to meet the political objective of winning conservative Jews to the Republican party is actually racist itself. It's asking conservative Jews to grasp the imagery of a hateful group and apply it to people who have never made or insinuated any such hate.

I'm Jewish by birth. I love my Jewish family and friends. I'm for equality in Israel for all of their people, Jewish and otherwise. I do not agree with many policies of the Israeli state.

Ilhan Omar is a Muslim. She has watch her fellow Muslims subjugated by the Israeli government and she is against those policies too. Her much touted comment "It's all about the Benjamin’s, baby" was a comment on the political money that is funneled into congress to promote the pro-Israel expansion policies by AIPAC - it was not ant-Semitic. But because Omar is Muslim, it's easy to link stereotypes and push an image of hatred, rather than allow people to understand her legitimate concerns.

We have to see through the ploy.

Ultimately the President and AIPAC threaten the Jewish people, because they are linking Jewishness with racist activity - the subjugation of others for racial and religious purity. If we go back in history and look at when this happened before to Jews - to the Spanish inquisition, to the Holocaust - and others, like Apartheid in South Africa - we see that the Israeli government is pushing for racial inequality.

That's not anti-Semitic. That's anti-racist. That's anti-poverty, anti-subjugation, anti-war.

The presidents actions have been about using his endorsement to help leaders in Israel that will help get him re-elected. Just remember, he is using bigotry to win. He's counting on a part of the Jewish population to racially hate in order to win. And if we do that, we have truly lost our way. We, of all peoples, should be sensitive to racial inequality. To the cause of peoples who are treated wrong for who they are, for where they are. We need to reach out with love. With caring. With inclusive policy.

It is the only way to wipe out hundreds of years of violence in the region. You cannot kill your way to peace. You must be peaceful in order to have peace. You must work, you must compromise, you must be strong against forces on both sides that will want to continue the hate - there's political profit in hate. But it's the people on both sides that die. The only way to get there is to stop. That's not anti-Semitic. It's a hope for all the peoples of the region, regardless of religion or race.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/04/us/politics/aipac-congress-democrats.html

Reality imposes itself on fantasy

Reality imposes itself on any lie, fantasy or expedient plan eventually. It happens over and over again.

We danced around the idea that Tobacco is bad for you. "The science isn't conclusive" was argued by tobacco and it's powerful allies in congress. And guess what. We got lung cancer anyway, even though those who gained got off. Now, everyone knows.

We're almost at the point where Global Warming is universally understood and yet we still have powerful profit motive driving governmental policy to our own detriment.

We know that gun violence can be reduced by reducing the number and types of available guns and ammunition. The statistics are sound, yet a powerful profit motive coupled with a liberal (yes liberal) interpretation of the constitution driving our government policy to our own detriment.

We know that privilege exists and yet we hesitate to level the playing field for poor, for minorities, for women, for people of alternate gender and sexualtiy. We know that unwanted pregnancy and STD transmission can be reduced by providing birth control and education, we know that legalized abortion saves lives - all proven beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Reality imposing itself on our fantasy. Maybe, it's time for us to grow up. To understand reality and work to shape outcomes rather than listening to the fairytale and hoping it's true.

We do this for ourselves, in ways that really matter. Many other countries have. We can too.

That is the idea behind the Green New Deal - to address some of these realities rather than ignoring them and hoping the fantasies and lies are true.

It doesn't have the answers, it paves the way for the answers. If you listen closely, rather than shouting you can hear that.

Please step back and know in your heart of hearts that we need to solve climate, poverty, healthcare, employment in the face of automation - and be part of the solution, not just a part of the problem. Vote for people with vision. Read. Write your representatives. Volunteer.

A Reminder

Watching a video about Flint Michigan drinking water and as they step back to discuss history talk about how the automobile industry left the area when they could find cheaper labor in Mexico and overseas, after Michigan and the city of Flint made huge concessions and even paid incentives for them to stay.

And it gave me pause, because I'm an MBA and understand that if this was my business, I might make that decision too. We have to remember - there are smart people and hard working people everywhere - as much as we'd like to tout our national pride, there are people in every country who can do what we do. Economics drives business to the cheapest sources of labor.

So at the risk of repeating myself (and I will, because the message needs to be clearly understood) - Business works within the economic and legal framework. Not a moral code. Not an emotional code. It works within regulations and economic rules.

So as a business person, I would look at the laws around labor and move where I could legally move. And that's where we need to understand - our laws need to protect jobs.

Republicans can trumpet concern for the common man, while pushing "right to work" laws that prevent collective bargaining and you can understand - they are saying one thing and doing another. "Right to work" is all about their ability to shift work force without legal challenge. So they can call themselves the jobs party, but the reality is, those jobs could be pushed anywhere at the drop of a hat.

We cannot count on business being good community citizens (it's great when they are) - because it's not always in their self interest. We need to legislate protections for communities and employees. It needs the rule of law.

And yes - some businesses will choose to go elsewhere because of that. But while we have no monopoly on smart people, our economy is still 25% of the world economy. We have resources and we have the market. If we legislate now, we keep that and jobs. If we don't we lose it to China, India and the middle east, where there is a great deal of capital.

That's right - you want the low risk and high yield the American economy generates, you employ our people. We allow collective bargaining so that companies that need access to our markets have to work in ways that benefit our communities and workers.

Trump says he's protecting American jobs, while all the while his administration is disabling the protections we have in place for the American people. Incent business - sure - but also build the legal structure to negotiate - not to make the rich richer, but to maintain the working class and narrow the gap.

Even the most honorable business will always do what's best for it, within legal guidelines. Economics requires it. Capitalism requires it. Setting the legal guidelines - regulation - to protect both businesses and communities is the way we get to the reasonable balance. Not by removing those protections, but by working hard to make them workable and allow balance and counterbalance.

Out current congress, save a few, cannot. They are owned by interests that would have to reform. We need new representation that will work for fair regulation, work for their constituents. Our elections are ever more important, if we are to move to a model that is sustainable for everyone.

America First?

When my family moved to a new residence in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, I was 5 years old and while the adults were busy taking care of the move, I had important business of my own. I went next door to see if there were kids I could play with. Indeed there were - Todd and Lisa were 6 and 4 respectively and immediately we start to play together. Our ideas in collaboration were grand - we had a band - I already was playing guitar and a set of boxes provided a drum. We built forts. We rode bikes. We ate at each others houses, we walked to school together.

It's natural for us to collaborate, to share. We are more than the sum of our parts when we do. And there's value beyond the immediacy of the moment. I have not seen Todd or Lisa for many years - life took us down different paths, but I still value the interaction, the collaboration, the sharing.

Throughout that, I never starved because i was sharing. I never suffered for it - scarcity mentality was unknown to me and I was taught to share, to help others, to collaborate, to discuss. My folks were at least moderate intellectuals and they taught me a lot about interacting with others.

That's why this idea of "America First" is so troubling. Yes - we always make sure we keep our own health and interests in mind - but not to the exclusion of others. If I gave a neighbor half my peanut butter sandwich, I wasn't expecting anything in return, except, perhaps, goodwill.

Since WWII we've been a leader of the world, understanding that if we help others achieve their goals, we achieve our goals - we get where we are going by helping others too. The very idea that we would abandon our leadership role, because we "aren't getting anything" from others is ludicrous. As we retreat, we give up leadership in economic markets, in technology, in business services, in design and engineering. And instead, we replace it with greed and avarice, like a spoiled child saying "the toy is mine. It's mine, not yours".

Propaganda is put out to support the position supposing that we are giving money to other countries and that is what is keeping us from treating our veterans or our poor well - when in reality, we can and need to do both. We can help others in need both here and outside of the country.

We are a country of immigrants and yet we are closing our doors to the tired, the hungry and the poor - just like our Grandparents were when they came here? When I see us pulling out of Climate accords, when we talk about leaving the United Nations or berating our NATO allies in public, I see this selfishness. If we need others to rise to a challenge, we need to coach and mentor, negotiate in good faith.

America First is really code for "It is all mine". And that spoiled, greedy child cannot thrive. We need to embrace others. We need to compete, yes, but also be collaborators, philanthropists and most importantly, support our fellow humans. It is not through selfishness we rise. It is through the giving of ourselves. Take care of ourselves, yes. But that doesn't have to happen at the exclusion of others. It's not all or nothing.

We not only succeed with our fellow humans, but we succeed because they succeed (and vice versa). That deep friendship, dependence and integration make us stronger, not weaker. Is it harder? Sometimes, because you have to negotiate not dictate. Collaborate, not demand.

Good leaders know, you don't succeed by thinking your the smartest and telling people what to do. You hire good people and work together to achieve. Leadership is supporting those you lead and helping remove obstacles. Not in demanding.

We can do both. We can look after our interests and collaborate and help others. We never stop keeping our own interests in mind, we just don't do it to the exclusion of others interests. That's how we win. That's how we all, as a world, win.

Describing the supplantation of the American Dream

And in the back of one of D.C’s fine eating establishments, in luxury of actual white plaster, parlor palm and ficus plants and painted art on the walls, the ultra rich and politically powerful sat and discussed, over whiskey and cheese, the future of the American Dream. If the average American was a sycophant – a net drain on their riches (through taxes), because of average person’s needs, then how could they reverse and exploit that?

To you - the 4th wall – let’s face it, the rich have little need for government. They can buy security, educate their kids, get their medical needs taken care of, get their packages sent – so if the average American needs these things, the average American is then a slave to them.

Back to the conversation. The elderly gentleman in the corner – we will call him Mitch, says “Follow me for a moment. If we can separate services from government and give them to business, free of investment, we reduce our taxes and improve our ability to charge for these services. Even better, since the publicly funded government has already put in infrastructure and we say it is poorly managed and convince the public that business is more competent than government – and that the current government system is untenable and we should give it to a business or businesses to run – then we not only get to set and sit at the table, but we’ve managed to steal the table itself.”
“So we will call that privatization and frame it as Freedom. Freedom for us, from taxes, but position it as Freedom from this horrible thing called “Government”, that doesn’t run efficiently and only provides for the lazy and ner-do-wells.

And as the conversation turned to Unions, which fought for fair wages and working conditions, it was recognized that these further diminished the wealth of these powerful men, who believed themselves creators – not caretakers. And they needed a context in which to place the Union as “anti-American” and so they looked at things like mandatory membership and picket lines and said, what about the guy who still wants to work when collective bargaining is taking place? Isn’t he being oppressed by all these other people wanting to bargain? Protecting the individual could be used as an excuse to take away their collective power.

So we will call efforts to kill Unions “Right to work” – and along with Union killing, we will protect ourselves from any responsibility for laying off or firing an individual. That’s our prerogative.
And then the lady, we’ll call her “Betsy”, goes on a diatribe about Public education and that it creates liberal thinkers, doesn’t support religious education (how unfair that people who want their kids to attend a religious school have to pay into public education too). And then how education, especially secondary, used to be more exclusive, both in class and racial terms, and longed for the days of segregation, which invented the school voucher system as a way to keep white kids from having to go to school next to black kids. If we just removed the funding for education, privatized it and made it “pay to play” – we could take the funding that was there and make it into vouchers that could be used for religious and for-profit schools, we would remove the funding for public schools and make a profit – and we could we could go back to control of content, to insure that science does not contradict our religious and money making pursuits and ideas.

We’ll call this “School Choice” and frame it as Freedom too.

And the subject turned to Health Care (actually to Health Payment System and Pharmaceutical regulation) and said that regulation and government management was taking profit opportunities away from insurance providers and subsequently, eliminating a huge opportunity for profit.
And as each of the cabinet members in turn discussed their areas with the campaign financiers, it became evident that in order for profit to win over virtue;

• People needed to believe that Business was competent and Government was not.
• That taxes were robbery.
• That Capitalism was viewed as a form of government, that functioned on it’s own, in place of government.
• That propaganda was needed to connect publicly funded service with Socialism and Communism, to be able to use these age old references to instill fear and stear people away from them. After all, they eliminated “profit” from the equation.
• That allowing religious freedom was dangerous and subsequently redefining religious freedom as the Freedom to discriminate against those who don’t hold your belief system was a further means to control the masses. 
• That Globalization was evil, because it means that we are competing with the rest of the world, who are poised to surpass us in every area, because of investments in education and government programs to help their people – who outnumbers us 4 to 1. And competing means losing control of markets.

As they moved through one by one, it became clear that the plan, while still in operation, was succeeding.

Now, I’ve framed this as a meeting, but really, it’s been thousands of meetings over the last 80 years. It’s been funded by Fossil Fuels, The Gun Industry, other big industries (like Pharma, Insurance, Agriculture) a handful of very, very wealthy people. And there’s a constant theme;

• Gain control of the government and people
• Reduce or eliminate tax on the wealthy by dissolving government, to a large part, to privatize services for profit and control it where market control can be established. (These folks only claim to be capitalists – they are actually monopolists – they only support the invisible hand to the point they can control it). 
• Reduce regulation in every situation, because it requires investment and management.
• Make as much of it permanent as possible

We need public investment. We need to remove profit from politics, Health Care Payment (My doctor should make  good living as should nurses and other practitioners. Hospital systems should be well funded, but should not be making a killing. People who manage health care payment should not be making a killing, yet insurance is by far, the most profitable business in the country. The profit motive is counter to the health care of the individual – it treats the individual as a number, only an investment while they are inexpensive.

We need to recognize and partner with other countries. We need to work for sustainable energy, sustainable farming, sustainable everything. That requires widely available public education where again, profit motive can be the enemy of individual improvement.

Good business is not more effective than good government. They are both human systems. They both live and fail on the availability of capital. The difference is, business always has to walk away with more money than it put in – that is profit. Government does not. It has to walk away with something more than the money that was put in – and that Is healthy and viable people.

Business and profit have a valuable place in our democracy but we need to be careful about allowing capitalism be mistaken for a governing system – or that it owes anything inherently to the well being of the people involved. As an economic system, it is every man for himself. As a society, that is anachronistic and we need social responsibility along with capitalism to survive. It is the balance that is needed to give everyone the chance to pursue life and liberty – and we must get back to it. Urgently.

Forgiveness

Our muddled past.

Can our core selves change on important topics? Scripting, race, sex and gender issues?
Can we forgive transgression? Do we believe that we can learn?

The human mind and soul are infinitely complex things. We ascribe societal rules of conduct for safety, for comfort and sometimes, unfortunately, for societal control of others for personal gain (or prevention of perceived personal loss). Sometimes these rules are laws. Sometimes they are unspoken - and in some cases, largely ignored, to hit some critical mass and suddenly be known.

And there are degrees of infringement. Although I believe intent is important, it appears to be a subtlety lost on the court of pubic opinion. Let's take an example -

We find Harvey Weinstien abhorrent (and he is) for what he did and his case of err is clear and he deserves what he gets. But when power is wielded with non-sexual intent - for instance, when an upper level individual in a corporation is instructed to lay off 1000 plus workers - and is at risk of being fired if they won't, if their conscience prevents them from upsetting and destroying lives - isn't there some of the same dilemma? Power is being used to force another into an uncomfortable and even personally damaging situation.

Take Al Franken then - guilty of bad form and some misogynistic actions – and not downplaying the serious nature of these. His comments and apologies make me think he is able to learn and grow from those mistakes.

Is every sentence to be handed down to be a banishment for life? Certainly we all carry lessons around. I've made mistakes of many types and those lessons stay with me and shape the better person I think I am today. But lessons are best when they are not eternal punishment. We should save that for people who cannot be forgiven. They need to be locked away either physically or societally in some cases. For the betterment of the whole.

I cannot always let go of my mistakes. And it starts out as self punishment. But to keep a lesson close is very different than eternal punishment. And it sometimes takes time to change from a punishment to a lesson.

A personal example - in 7th grade, I was 13 and played junior varsity basketball. After practice one day, a girl I knew asked me out. I had never dated anyone, although I was definitely attracted to her - she was very pretty, I was scared out of my mind. First, I was pretty shy around girls, especially girls I was attracted to. Secondly, she was black and I am white. My family never held up race as a barrier - I was raised in a very unbiased environment, but in the 1970s, interracial dating wasn't mainstream.

I wasn't unkind, but I turned her down. I personally was ashamed. One of my life regrets now (and I'm fortunate not to have tons to drag behind me, but I didn't know how to stand up to these particular fears yet). I missed the experience of knowing someone I actually did want to know because I was scared. Variations of that mistake in romantic and non romantic contexts (without racial implications) played out through my younger life until I realized that my fears of either hurting myself or my fear of hurting others - rather than thinking they would understand me, prevented honesty and subsequently actually prevented my happiness - and sometimes theirs.

I'd like to think that I would not make those mistakes today. So I believe in learning. And I'm not asking for anyone to forgive our societal monsters - the rapists, the racists, the greedy liars.

I'm supportive of the outing of these people. I do think there are some who subsequently are lumped in there, who have made mistakes, certainly, but don't deserve the lifetime banishment, which I believe should be reserved for the Bill Cosbys,  Martin Skhrelis and Harvey Weinsteins of the world - those who would subordinate others to their wishes and greed.

I think we need to look on those who commit lesser offence and see what their intent was - and when in their life it was - and understand that we can learn and forgive bad actions. And forgiveness is something that is healing for all parties - it improves the lesson and the outcome. So we should search our hearts for it where possible.

x

Finding ourselves

We think we have an identity crisis in the USA right now, largely due to the over-amplified volume of "Conservative" pundits and groups. They carry behind them money from some of the wealthiest Americans like the Koch Brothers, The Devoses, the Scaifes and others who have fought a propaganda war for 70 years, to convince the American people to uphold law that preserves their fortunes (low taxes, slow moving or stopping environmental, safety and regulation legislation, laws that support the politicians they manage to buy) swing the perceived center to the right and to convince Americans that the majority feel this way.

But the reality is, in almost every independent survey, and when we allow ourselves to meet on common ground, we come away with a large majority of us on the same page and it really isn't for the things the propaganda continues to pound away at.

Even on divisive issues like abortion rights, 7 out of 10 Americans believe that legal abortion should be available in some cases.

Nobody believes Flint Michigan shouldn't have clean water. Nobody wants to see extinction of species or our rivers and oceans polluted.
89% of Americans - including gun owners believe the mentally ill should be prevented from purchasing guns. 77% of gun owners and 87% of non owners believe that the gun show loophole should be closed. We vary some more on other parts of this issue.

Independent survey after survey puts the center position much farther to the left than is touted by conservative politicians and media. 

So why do we end up with legislators trying to outlaw abortion completely, why does Flint still poison their people, does environmental regulation get pushed aside, why does the gun show loophole still exist and why was the ban on the mentally ill owning guns pulled back? How did big tobacco survive for 40 years after we knew it was bad for you? Why aren't we leading climate change? Why are minorities, gay and trans peoples still trodden so heavily upon.

Because the well funded super rich and business have control of our lawmakers and convince enough of us that this is normal in order to maintain control. It drowns out the actual voice of reason. It drowns out the middle.

Those who argue on the other sides of these issues - I have no doubt to your belief and commitment. Part of it has to do with the scripting and propaganda that has been around so long and part to do with other parts of your belief system. But you have also come to believe through this process that you represent a majority voice (from what conservative outlets and media tell you) and that just isn't the case.

If you want a reality check, look at the rest of the wealthy world - look at Europe. Why is Germany committed to eliminating all coal use by 2038? Why is Universal Healthcare a reality in every other wealthy nation? Why do the Europeans have mass transit, clean water, thriving public education?

Because they are older and have found ways to curb the influence of the ultra-right so the true center has a voice. Same voices that say nobody should go hungry or be unable to afford to see a doctor. That understand that Global Warming is real and that war is an atrocity that should not be repeated, especially for economic interest. That multiculturalism is part of this shrinking world.

If we find ways to turn off the propaganda and remove the lobbyists and ownership of politicians (largely remove money from politics altogether) we will find our common ground. And that should be the goal of everyone that is looking for their family to come out whole. Who is looking to be kind to each other, to look out for and help each other. 

Greedy assh*les will always exist. We jut need to take our world back from them - and remember, governance is allowed by those being governed. As soon as we realize we have the power to change things, they will change, regardless of the money. 

MLK Day

As I thought about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. today and what he might think about where we are,  as a society and realized I myself am torn – on one hand we see inroads made every day, barriers torn down and in the same breathe, hug breaches of civil rights, racial abuses and murders by police departments and the push the president and some Americans to put up a wall to keep refugees out because of the “huge threat” it is claimed they pose, although statistics over many years show the threat to be low.

I think he would have found that the working class poor in this country have similar or even deeper challenges, that overt racism, although still here, has in some cases been replaced with muted, underhanded racism.

He’d find that religious discrimination against LGBTQ+ persons is at an all time high, with groups actively working to remove protections – and in fact this is happening even in racial situations with some groups arguing that Equal Opportunity laws are no longer needed.

And yes, you can be a Republican and still be my friend and we can have differences in opinion like our views on government spending or approaches to curb poverty.

But when your difference of opinion reach to pull back basic respect for fellow human beings rights to live, love or work – then we’re really past reconcilable or even ignorable differences. It doesn’t mean I won’t engage you.

But you can bet that I am working with everything I’ve got to non-violently change our wish or ability to discriminate. Against minorities. Against the aging. Against women. Against those with different sexual and gender identities. Because of what we learned from him.

The struggle continues, Dr. King. I’m so sorry to say. At least we have your wisdom and words to help continue to guide us.

Dealing

Today I read this and I think it’s profound.

“There are stories that are true, in which each individual's tale is unique and tragic, and the worst of the tragedy is that we have heard it before, and we cannot allow ourselves to feel it to deeply. We build a shell around it like an oyster dealing with a painful particle of grit, coating it with smooth pearl layers in order to cope. This is how we walk and talk and function, day in, day out, immune to others' pain and loss. If it were to touch us it would cripple us or make saints of us; but, for the most part, it does not touch us. We cannot allow it to.”

Neil Gaiman, American Gods (American Gods, #1)

There are days when I can open myself more than others, when I’m ready to bleed, contemplate, mourn, solve or fix whatever little bit I can.

There are others where I have to step back into my life and do my work, keep myself, my family afloat.

There are days of joy when I recharge, thank my friends and gods and without thinking, get ready to bleed again.

It’s the only way it can work and still allow for humanity. And while there is no right amount of bleeding to do to make you a good person (I believe it depends on us each, how strong we are, what we can truly bear) if we never bleed, we never feel, we just function for ourselves - we never truly live.

I’d appreciate your thoughts.

2019

Toby woke up in a fowl mood. The night before had been New Years fucking eve and at the stroke of midnight, his American Express was charged an annual fee for his exercise app.

“Can’t have one second in a year where I’m not a consumer, first and foremost.” he muttered incredulously, suddenly going through the math and realizing he was paying fifty cents a day for the use of the stupid thing.

Briefly he traveled back to his childhood when fifty cents was two candy bars. It was almost the cost of a pack of cigarettes. It was an ice cream. Almost four bus rides to school. And then back to the present world where a coffee costs five dollars.

He was wondering how he got here. Was it the insidious Saturday morning consumerism he was raised with (parental efforts to the contrary notwithstanding) or was instant gratification a human norm that was just being catered to, the age old quest for ease of life? He told ALex to turn off the living room light. “Ha”.

As he went through the house, he started adding up each thing he consumed, touched. He imagined a future where the bank owned everything and the display on your Apple Watch ™ was constantly running total of what you consumed and therefore owed. The wear and tear on that underwear alone was a countdown to throwing it away, leading up to a new loan to buy a new pair. And so on, and so on.

Disgusted, he sat in the room, wanting to be naked, wanting to never go near anything again, and realized just as the meter was still ticking (heat went on, cat ate its food, etc…), the body was doing the same thing in calories. Birds and Squirrels ate, moved and shat.

Life as it turns out, is just input and output, on a certain level.

And people in Arizona and California are attacking driverless vehicles in protest of “Robots taking their jobs” all the meantime, it’s just another part of this input/output loop. Everything is.

Nothing matters unless you are gaining an experience from it. It is both the joy and the sadness in the system. It’s the journey - there are no destinations, no state of permanence, not even in death. And enjoying the ride also meant needing varied states of satisfaction, times when things were not enjoyable, in order for the enjoyment to mean anything.

He stopped over and hugged one of the dogs. One of the moments of satisfaction. Toes pressing in sand. Cold water hitting the palate. And it was OK again. Equilibrium achieved, at least enough to move on, into the New Year.

Copyright 2019, Tobias Y. Venar